Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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