A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
