Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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