She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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