The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
His nipple licking is glorious
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