nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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