Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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