oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
