your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
