Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
