Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This is my gift to your gina
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize