It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
