i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
