Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i drank out of a bidet.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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