I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
