I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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