I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
