remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
