don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
