somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
