what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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