how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
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when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
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my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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