omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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