Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize