guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the condom got lost in my hair
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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