HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
