Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
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You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
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You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria