All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
