xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
