i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
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and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
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He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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