It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
