Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
