There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
