And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
