he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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