mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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