And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
