Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she pinky promised me she was 18
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
