Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
