ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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