Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
