I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
