I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
