He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize