you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
