I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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