He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
