I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
