you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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