I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
