so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
