He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
