chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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