there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
