My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
