smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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