someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
