I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
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He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
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just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize