Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
