Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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