Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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