dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
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