ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
